This week is my daughter’s 4th birthday. A while ago I figured out what my core values were and who is the Hannah Pirnie I want to be. At the heart of this is being a fun, inspiring mother, who is dependable and always available to listen, hug and make a cup of tea!
Yet this week – I was overwhelmed by 1001 business ‘to-do’s that I hadn’t ‘to-done’ yet. I felt annoyed at myself for not progressing my various ideas as fast as I should, for not getting the satisfaction of achieving things, and for not crossing off my ‘to do’ items--- this blog being one!
So I started to list what have I actually done
- I have gone to 100 different shops (due to lack of amazon) for Florence’s birthday
- Popped into Woolies (most days!)
- Baked biscuits with her,
- Helped her choose a special outfit for her birthday ring at school.
- Found photos of items that she can show her friends about her first 4 years of her life
- Visited friend whose daughter is sick
- Run the last Women Wine and Wisdom session
- Attended a Rugby World Cup event
- Run 360 Development Interviews for a client
As you can see most of the weeks’ achievements fall under ‘Motherhood’. Unfortunately I’m not feeling like I have achieved anything because I haven’t received the “well done” or the "this is great” or the buzz from achieving in my career. This is a contradiction to my self-confessed core value of being a Mother first.
It all falls down to the battle in my heart and head. Do I focus more the career Me to increase my short -term feelings of self-worth, or be the Me I want to be? Whose version of success am I chasing, and how do I go about getting the same level of satisfaction from being “mummy” that I get from my career?
Well I started by linking myself back to my values. I know that being a Mum is important to me, more important over the long run than my career. Therefore I decided that I will enforce upon myself a week off from being consumed by work, every now and then, to refocus and reconnect to those I hold most dear.
Then over the next few weeks I am going to think some more about the way I can encourage my children to explore what makes them happy rather than teaching them to define happiness only through success. Hopefully in the future they will find it easier to be the person they want to be.
But today I am thinking about how I can reward and honour the ‘Mummy me’? Mmmm I wonder if my daughter serves Champagne at her parties—I bet she does…..